


Embracing the Village

by jedi_penguin



Series: Friends, Lovers, Family (And Everything In-Between) [3]
Category: Night Court (TV)
Genre: Curtain Fic, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Series 7 AU, s07ep20 - I Said Dance!, s07ep21 - My Three Dads
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-05-23 13:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14934725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedi_penguin/pseuds/jedi_penguin
Summary: Dan and Roz have both friends and family.  They're going to need to learn how to incorporate both if they're going to make their relationship work.  Contains some dialogue from episodes 20 and 21, "I Said Dance!" and "My Three Dads."





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On their three week anniversary, Dan tries to figure out what kind of relationship he has with Roz. Heaven forfend that he should just ask!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's totally head canon that Dan can speak Creole. If there's any mistakes in the Creole dialogue, I'm throwing Google translate under the bus.
> 
> The last section has dialogue taken directly from episode 20, "I Said Dance!"

Even before she was fully awake, Roz could feel Dan’s eyes on her. It was decidedly strange. Normally, she woke long before Dan, but on the rare occasions when she slept in, he was up and bustling the second he woke up. He seemed to feel that beds were either for vigorous activity, serious sleeping, or the sporadic cuddle. He wasn’t one to just lay down and rest.

Her eyes fluttered open and she saw Dan propped up on his elbow, silently smiling at her. With anyone else, she would have decreed it creepy and gotten the hell out of Dodge, but somehow, with him, she was charmed. 

“Good morning,” he chirped. “Happy anniversary!”

“Anniversary?”

He reached behind him to his dressing stand and pulled out a single red rose which he presented to her. “Three weeks today. My longest relationship since middle school.”

Those two sentences came with more baggage than she cared to deal with this early in the morning, so she focused on the one truly inexplicable part of this conversation. “What’s with the rose?”

“I once saw a douchebag pull out a single rose to impress Christine and she went gaga over it. Since she’s normally way too bright to get pulled in by crap like that, I figured it must be a hormonal thing. Is Christine just a sap, or are you alone among all women immune to single red roses?”

“Nah, all girls are saps when it comes to flowers. I was just surprised to see you with one, that’s all.” Roz accepted the gift with a sweet smile. “Thank you. No one has ever given me a single rose before.”

Dan looked giddy. If he’d been standing up, Roz was certain that he would have spun around, clapped his hands, or both. Since he was in bed, he blew a raspberry on her bare chest. 

Roz assumed that having his mouth so close to her breasts would lead to some leisurely morning lovemaking, but to her surprise, he propped himself back on his elbow after the one raspberry. “We should do something today!” She gave him a baffled look, so he continued, “You know, to celebrate? Our anniversary?”

“Okay. Like what?”

“Let’s go to lunch before work.”

Roz was confused. “Sure, sounds good, but how is that different from most Fridays? Or any other work day?”

Dan looked a little nervous, and Roz suddenly understood that whatever he was going to say next was the real explanation for the rose he’d given her. “I understand why you don’t want to tell our mutual friends about us, and I agree. But how about if one of us has a friend that we don’t have in common? One that doesn’t know anybody else from work?”

“What, exactly, are you suggesting?” 

“There’s a Creole restaurant I go to pretty often and I’ve become kind of close to the owners. They’ve only met a few of the others and that was just once, years ago. They are very unlikely to run into each other, and if they did, there is no way any of them would recognize each other. Our secret would be safe from everyone you care about, but my friends would love to meet you. Any chance you would be okay with me taking you there?”

Roz frowned. She knew that Dan had never been happy with her request that they not advertise their relationship, but this was the closest he’d ever come to saying so directly. It was clear that the issue wasn’t going to go away, so this might be a good compromise. “All right. But since this is your idea, you’re paying. No Dutch this time.”

He blew another raspberry on her chest. “Fair enough!” He brought his face down again, but this time instead of a raspberry, he licked her. “But oh, how shall we **ever** pass the time until lunch?”

“You’re a resourceful guy, Fielding. I’m trusting you to think of something.”

Dan took this as a challenge. “I don’t ever want to let you down,” he declared solemnly.

He didn’t.

~*~*~

Three weeks! Roz hadn’t seemed particularly impressed with their accomplishment, but it blew Dan away. Three weeks, and he hadn’t been even slightly tempted by another woman. Not even once.

There had been a time that he had wanted to fall in love and settle down, wanted it desperately, but it just never seemed to happen for him. Three years ago, on his fortieth birthday, he had finally accepted that no woman was ever going to love him. He couldn’t blame them; it wasn’t their fault that he wasn’t worthy of being loved. He wasn’t even certain that it was his fault. It just was. After accepting this hard truth, he decided that he should just settle for having as much sex as possible. It wasn’t what he wanted out of life, but short term connections were better than none. Plus, he **did** like getting his rocks off.

The problem with his new plan was that it limited the type of women he could pull. Women that he honestly liked tended to be put off by his unabashed sexuality. He was quickly labelled a creep by every woman that would have interested him before he gave up on relationships. Who he **could** attract were women as shallow as himself, who only went out with him as long as he spent money on them, and women of limited intelligence who bored him outside of the bedroom. 

But Roz! Roz was someone who wasn’t particularly impressed with money and honestly didn’t care how much he spent on her. (Actually, since she knew just how broke he really was, she discouraged him from extravagances. Spending time with her meant that his end of the month bank account was the best it had been at any point since his disastrous IRS audit.) She was **far** from dumb, and yet, she enjoyed his company. She saw his bullshit, regularly called him on it, and yet still wanted to spend time with him. Mostly, however, they had fun together, and that made his time with Roz utterly unique in his experience.

And this thing with Roz was about more than how much he enjoyed her company. It was also about sex, and there too, she was unlike any other woman he had ever gone out with. She was inexperienced in kink, but she wasn’t frightened of it. She trusted him enough to allow him to exercise his imagination in the bedroom, but she also trusted him to stop when she decided she didn’t like something. Dan had heard for years that sex was better with open communication, but he’d never slept with anyone long enough to get to that point. It turned out, it **wasn’t** all Cosmo bullshit; banging **was** better when you could talk about what worked and what didn’t. He wouldn’t quite say that Roz had ruined him for future one-night stands, but he finally understood why most people saw them as inferior to real relationships.

But the thing was, he wasn’t certain if this **was** a relationship. Did Roz consider him her boyfriend, or was he just a good friend that she had decided to sleep with for an indefinite amount of time? He was fine with either one, but he couldn’t protect his heart if he didn’t know where he stood with her. 

And so he had become fixated with the idea of taking her to King Creole. He would take her there, introduce her to Gilles and Alexandrine as a very dear friend, and watch Roz’s reaction. She didn’t give much away, but he was learning to read her, and he could surely tell if she was unhappy with that description. If she was, he would quickly correct it to “girlfriend” and read that reaction; if she didn’t care how he introduced her, well then, that too was an answer.

But now that she’d agreed to go with him, he was nervous as hell, and he honestly wasn’t sure why. King Creole was the only bit of home that he allowed himself in his current life, and it was possible that he might think a little less of Roz if she hated it there, but that seemed unlikely to him. She poured hot sauce on the damnedest things, claiming that it was a Chicago thing, so he didn’t think that a little Cajun heat would bother her. He also wasn’t worried that the owners would dislike Roz. The only possible objection that anyone might make—the fact that Roz was African-American—would never occur to the Lanoix’s. Alexandrine’s father was black, so they both had a lot of respect and understanding for interracial couples. 

It would be fine! More than that, it would be fantastic! And yet, Dan couldn’t quite lose a niggling sense of unease.

Since they needed to be at work by three, Dan and Roz arrived at King Creole around 1:00. They were still waiting to be seated when Gilles caught sight of them. “ _Mishé Fielding! Konmen ç'ap kouri?_ ”

Dan stuck his hand out to shake hands with the exuberant owner. “ _Mo bien, mèsi. Ayou tokènn fenm joli?_ ”

Roz elbowed Dan in the stomach. “What the hell are you two saying?”

Gilles immediately switched to flawless English. “A million pardons, Miss…?”

“Russell. Gilles, I’d like you to meet Ms. Roz Russell. Roz, this is Gilles Lanoix.” He pointed at a tall woman bringing in a full tray of food from the kitchen. “And that is his lovely wife, Alexandrine. They’re the owners of this place, and good friends.”

“But what were you speaking a moment ago?”

“Creole. I don’t know much more than you just heard. Ours was one of the few families in the parish that didn’t speak Creole at home, but I couldn’t help but pick up a few phrases at school.”

“ _Mishé_ Fielding is being modest. I’ve not met another New Yorker who speaks it better. But here, let me sit you at a table! Alexandrine will come over to say hello as soon as she finishes with her current customers.”

It wasn’t until Dan was pulling a chair out for Roz that he realized he’d missed his chance. He hadn’t placed any label at all on Roz when he’d introduced her to Gilles, which had rather been the point of this afternoon. Well, that, and some home cooking. Ah well, he’d get his chance with Alexandrine.

Except he didn’t. Gilles had clearly filled his wife in, because when she approached the table, she was already exclaiming, “Ms. Russell! What a pleasure to meet you! It has been **years** since Daniel has brought a lady friend to our establishment. Gilles and I worry so about him, that he might be lonely. I’m so happy that he has finally found a new companion!”

Shit. Dan suddenly realized what had been behind his unfocused unease. He frantically swung his hand back and forth in front of his throat, a classic mannerism for _cut it out_ , but unfortunately Alexandrine was turning around to speak with her husband and didn’t see him. “You remember the last time Daniel brought a lady friend here, don’t you Gilles? He proposed at the very table he’s at now and—“

Time to cut this off. “Yeah, as much as I’ve enjoyed this trip down memory lane, I’m sure Roz doesn’t want to hear about **that**. I mean, it’s been a really long time and—“

“Oh, I wouldn’t mind,” Roz said blandly. She had a wicked gleam in her eye, however, that said she was enjoying Dan’s embarrassment even if she didn’t understand it.

Thankfully, Alexandrine took mercy on him. “You’re right, Daniel. That was a very long time ago. On to the new! Are you familiar with Creole food, Ms. Russell? Would you like any suggestions? If so, how much heat do you like in your food?”

“Assuming Creole is similar to Cajun—“

“It is,” the tall woman assured her. “Except we use more tomatoes.”

“Okay then. I’ll have the Jambalaya. Dan, would you be grossed out if I ordered an appetizer of chicken’s feet? They’re a lot better than you might expect them to be.”

Dan smiled happily. Here was another first: no other date had ever expressed an interest in chicken feet before. It had been years since he’d eaten them in the company of another person. “Actually, the chicken’s feet are **excellent** here. Truly superb. Order away, as long as you don’t mind sharing. And I’ll have an order of jambalaya as well. Extra spicy.”

“Mine too.” Alexandrine nodded and left, at which point Roz shot him an evil grin. “So… Poor little Daniel hasn’t had any women friends for **years** …. Do they know the same Dan Fielding that I do?”

Dan fought down a sigh of relief. He was certain that the fiancee question wouldn’t go away, but this he could handle. “I come here whenever I’m feeling a bit homesick. To make certain that they’re always happy to see me, this is the only restaurant in New York where I always overtip. Makes it too expensive to come here with other people most of the time.”

She looked thoughtfully at him. “So why did you want to bring me here?” He shrugged but said nothing. “Okay. Then do you want to tell me about that proposal? I’ve known you for three years but I’ve never heard a whisper about you being married. I told you all the ridiculous and embarrassing details about **my** marriage.”

“That’s because, unlike you, I never have been married; Patty broke the engagement just two days after I proposed. At this very table, apparently.” Dan faked a laugh. “Ya know, it’s actually a hilarious story. Funnily enough, however, I’m still not able to laugh about it myself, even five years later. Ask Harry though if you want a good chuckle.”

Roz looked stricken. “Dan, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be nosy. You don’t want to talk about this; I’ll let it go.”

“Nah, it’s fine. Of course you’re curious, and maybe it would be good for me to talk about it.” He shook himself physically, hoping that it would shake him out of his current mood. “So… What to say about Patty? Patty is the daughter of a mobster who became a legitimate businessman. He’s worth $40 million and she’s his only heir.” Roz let out a low whistle and Dan nodded. “Yeah! You could see why I’d be interested in her. But the other thing about Patty is that she’s, uh, how do I put it, a bit awkward. Socially, I mean. I couldn’t think of any place I could take her where I wouldn’t be humiliated to be seen with her, so we had quiet evenings at her apartment or at mine. Instead of wining and dining her, we talked. Or, rather, **I** talked, because she was the most amazing listener I’d ever met. I could tell her anything—anything at all!—and she always understood.” 

Their food arrived, and Dan paused until Alexandrine left. “All those conversations…. Patty made me feel good about myself, and I was happier when we were alone together than I’d ever been in my life.” He let out an involuntary chuckle. “It’s funny. If I hadn’t been so worried about her embarrassing me, we would never have made that connection. Anyway, after we’d been seeing each other for two weeks, she told me she loved me.” He reached out and took Roz’s hand. “You gotta understand, Roz. She was the first woman other than my mother who ever said that to me, and I lost my head. So I brought her to a place where I never bring anybody—though I had forgotten that detail entirely until today—and asked her to marry me.”

“So what happened?”

“That’s the hilarious part. Feel free to laugh if you like.” Dan took a long drink of water, hoping to buy a little time before continuing. “Her father offered me $50,000, in cash, to leave Patty alone. I told him no, I loved Patty and I was going to marry her.”

“ **You** turned down fifty thousand bucks?!?”

“Unbelievable, isn’t it? But I did. He then told Patty that he would cut off her allowance if she continued seeing me, and she decided that it would be easier to live without me than it would be to live without money. I promised to take care of her, that we could get by on my salary, that I’d do all the cooking until she learned how—hell, I don’t even remember how big of a mushy idiot I made of myself trying to get her to stay—but she didn’t know how to live without servants and money, and she was too frightened to learn. So, she walked out of my life just sixteen days after walking into it. Until this week, that was the longest relationship of my adult life.” He smiled falsely. “You’re not laughing.”

Roz squeezed his hand. “You’re better than you think you are, Dan. You deserved better than that.” 

His face relaxed into a more honest smile at that. “You shouldn’t say things like that. Harry once told me that I’m an egotistical bastard. He’ll make your life hell if he ever learns that you’ve been pumping up my ego.”

“I’ll live.”

After that, conversation veered towards more lighthearted subjects. Roz didn’t ask any of the follow up questions that Dan might have hoped for, such as _If Patty was the first woman to tell you that she loved you, have there been any others, or am I the only other one?_ or _If you once got engaged after just two weeks, what does it mean that we’ve been seeing each other for three?_ or even _Why did you bring me to this restaurant, when it seems to be something you never do?_ Of course, he didn’t ask the question that he really wanted to, namely _What the hell are we doing?_ , so he supposed he couldn’t complain about her caution. Overall, they had a great time and an amazing meal, but by the time the check came, Dan had no more clue as to where he stood with Roz than he’d had when they came in.

~*~*~

Even when they came in to work together, they tried not to come in **together** -together. It was often a bit tricky, but not this afternoon. Roz had recently been selected to try out a new gun and she wanted to go to the shooting range to check it out before starting her shift. She peeled off the second they entered the building to go play with her new toy while Dan headed to the cafeteria. Even though he had just come from lunch, it was a good place to read his paper, talk to his friends, and make fun of Bull. The familiarity of it all worked wonders at undoing the painful memories that the Lanoix’s had inadvertently stirred up. 

They were just about ready to clock in when Roz entered the cafeteria. She was carrying a target sheet and was wearing a big smile. Ever since they started sleeping together, Dan couldn’t seem to help straightening up at her presence. In order to not call attention to this, he usually tried to not be the first to acknowledge her. This time, Harry helped him out. “Hey, Roz. Looks like you’ve been to the firing range.”

“Yep,” she said happily. “The new bailiff picked me to try out some new hardware.” She pulled out a massive gun, and even though Dan had seen it earlier, it still made him flinch.

He wasn’t the only one. Mac, who had once carried a rifle in Viet Nam, looked a bit queasy and Harry let out an impressed “Woah! Well, that’s going to come in handy if a rogue elephant gets busted for shoplifting.”

Mac, on the other hand, seemed transfixed by her blank target sheet. “No offense, Roz, but isn’t that **too** much gun? I mean, you usually never miss.”

“I didn’t.” Roz didn’t smile, because she usually **didn’t** smile, but Dan could hear the happiness in her voice. “I was just practicing my warning shot.” She unfolded the target sheet to reveal a perfect cluster of shots at the target’s crotch. All three men cringed.

“Well, I sure hope that rogue elephant has a lovely soprano voice, because something tells me he’ll never be a baritone again,” Harry observed.

“That elephant will be lucky if he ever **walks** again,” added Mac.

Dan said nothing until the others left, then went over to grab Roz’s arm. Quietly, so no one else could hear, he asked, “Trying to tell me something, Roz?”

She smiled sweetly. “Now why would you ever think that?”

“I can’t imagine,” he said sourly.

“No message,” she assured him. “Like I said, it’s just a **warning** shot.”

“Message received. Or, as you say, no message: also received.”

“Always said you were a bright boy, Fielding.”

“What’s this? A compliment? From **you** , Roz? You’re slipping.”

She looked at him speculatively. “Maybe I am.”

Dan very much wanted to keep up the sarcastic banter, but his face betrayed him with a smile. He tried to make the best of it by growling, “Will wonders never cease?” but he didn’t think he pulled it off. Roz had a tendency to make him happy, and damnit, the woman knew it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their isolation begins to crack.
> 
> This is basically a reworking of "I Said Dance!" as if an established Roz/Dan relationship existed in the background. If you're not familiar with that episode, Bull causes Roz to get fired and Dan is obsessed with regaining a woman's phone number that he had written on a dollar bill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first section is from Mac's POV. The bulk of this series will continue to be from Dan or Roz's POVs, but the others may creep in now and again.

The evening had started off with a bang, literally, when Bull shot himself in the foot, but it had turned slow after that. Fielding kept yawning, which finally led Judge Stone to ask sarcastically, “Are we boring you, Mr. Prosecutor?”

“Uh, no sir,” he had responded. “Sorry sir. I’m just a bit low on caffeine. When you feel ready for a short break, I’ll grab a cup of coffee and should be good for the rest of the night.”

Judge Stone turned to him. “What about now, Mac? Is our docket light enough that we can take twenty?”

“Yes, sir,” Mac replied quickly. Truthfully, he could benefit from a cup of coffee as well.

“All right, then, court is adjourned for twenty minutes.” Judge Stone banged his gavel, then turned back to him again before Mac could make his escape. “Hey, Macaroni! Wanna see a new trick?”

Mac wasn’t above telling whoppers to his flaky boss. “Can’t think of anything I’d like more, sir,” he said with an obviously false smile.

As always, the judge proved adept at not seeing what he didn’t want to see. He took Mac at his word and proceeded to bore the hell out of him with an elaborate magic trick. It probably only took a minute or two, but it felt like half of the break was gone before he was able to escape. 

Finally able to grab a cup of coffee, Mac entered the cafeteria just in time to hear Fielding let out a high pitched yelp. He was staring at a piece of paper in his hand in evident horror.

“What’s the matter, Dan?”

Fielding turned towards him and grabbed him by his shirt. “Mac! Mac, man, you’ve gotta help me!”

One of Mac’s guiding principles in life was to never help Fielding if at all possible, but since he enjoyed seeing the guy suffer, he had to know, “Whatcha need?”

“You got a buck? Or five? Or ten?”

Mac frowned. “I ain’t giving you any money, Dan. I told you that last week.”

“No, Mac, I don’t want you to **give** me any money; I want you to **trade** me some money. Come on, even four quarters would work. Help me out!”

Mac glared at Fielding suspiciously. “Why? Is it counterfeit?”

The lawyer gave him an exaggerated look of disgust. “No! I just have to get rid of this dollar, and I’m too broke to simply throw it away.” Mac continued just staring at him, so Fielding sighed and explained further. “Did you notice the woman who just walked out of here? The blonde? Call me a romantic, but ever since I was a boy, I’ve seen **that** woman in my dreams. So when I saw her just now, I didn’t think; I just **acted**. I jumped over the counter and got her number. Just like that. It’s in my hand right now, written on this very dollar bill, and I can finally learn the answer to the question of a lifetime: is she a moaner or a screamer?”

Mac was disgusted, but he had given the slime ball the opportunity to brag about his sex life. He figured he needed to see it through. “Sounds like you’ve got everything under control. Why the hell do you need my help?”

“No!” Fielding yelped in anguish. “I don’t! I don’t **want** that answer! I don’t want this number. You have to help me get rid of it.”

“You… don’t?”

Fielding looked embarrassed. “Don’t mention this to anyone, but I’ve actually been trying something new lately.” Mac raised an eyebrow. “Monogamy. All right? I’ve been trying monogamy. I’ve been seeing the same woman for three weeks now, and I want to keep seeing her. I can’t do that if I have the temptation of having my dream woman’s number. **Please**. Trade me this dollar.”

Mac sighed. “All I’ve got is a twenty. Can you break that?”

The lawyer smiled so broadly that Mac had to admit that he was almost cute. “Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He pulled out his wallet and removed a ten, a five, and a handful of ones. “One, two, three, four…” 

Fielding had a death grip on the dollar that he wanted to get rid of, so Mac reached over and, with some difficulty, pulled it out of his hand. “Five. And here’s your twenty.”

Even though Fielding hadn’t wanted to let go of the dollar with the phone number on it, he seemed honestly relieved once it was gone. “Bless you, Mac! You’re a prince among men.”

“Yeah, yeah. Say, how come I haven’t heard about this woman earlier?”

The other man looked a bit shifty. “She doesn’t want people to know. I mean, if **you** were dating me, would you advertise it?”

“Hell, yes,” Mac said fervently. “If the two of us were seeing each other, I’d want everyone I’d ever met to know. Hopefully, at least **one** of my friends would care enough about me to put a bullet through my brain.”

“Ha ha.” Fielding gave him a sour look but suddenly looked almost ecstatic. “Say, listen. I’ve not been saying anything, but now that you know, maybe you could help me.”

“DIdn’t I **just** help you?”

“Well, yeah, you did. But there’s something else that you could do.” Mac paid for his coffee and started back towards the courtroom. Fielding followed him, pleading non-stop. “Could you give me tips on how to be faithful to one woman? I mean, you and Quon Le have a great relationship, and I don’t see you messing around with other women, so clearly you know things I don’t.”

“Not really.” Mac shook his head. Honestly, he didn’t understand Fielding at all. “It’s simply a matter of not being a terrible person.” Fielding looked at him blankly. “If you know something is wrong, just don’t do it.” 

“Yeah, I’m not so good at that. Could you, I don’t know, kind of be my sponsor? Like, alcoholics in AA have sponsors they can call when they’re tempted by booze; could I call you if I find myself asking for phone numbers again?”

Mac sighed heavily. “Good Lord! That sounds like a full time job to me. I can barely tolerate you as it is; I sure as hell don’t want to dealing with you at two o’clock in the morning.”

“Very funny. Also, I’m doing better than you think I am, or at least I was before today.” Mac went to his desk and started reading his newspaper, but Fielding was oblivious and continued talking. “I’ve been dating this woman for three weeks now, and this was the very first time I felt even the slightest bit tempted by anybody else.” 

Mac laughed. “Seriously? You’re selling me that? You must have hit on at least half a dozen women just this afternoon.”

Fielding looked at him like he was a moron. “Four lesbians, a newlywed head over heels in love with her new husband, a virgin approaching forty, and Christine. I didn’t hit on a single woman who would have **ever** have said yes.”

“How the hell could you identify lesbians and virgins just in passing?” Fielding gave him a puzzled look, as if wordlessly asking _can’t you?_. Mac shook his head in disgust. “Don’t tell me. I don’t even want to know.” 

“But really, Mac. Back to the subject at hand: this woman is worth being faithful to, and I think I can do it if I just get a little encouragement.”

Mac sighed. “Fine! I’ll do it. If you’re willing to try, then so am I. Must be quite a woman you’ve got there.”

Fielding smiled dreamily, and Mac found himself almost liking the man. “She is, Mac! She really is. Beautiful, smart, funny, sexy; the whole package. I’m telling you, a woman like that doesn’t come along every day. Just thinking about her makes the world a sweeter place.” 

All of a sudden, Fielding stood up straight and adjusted his tie. His eyes were glued to the woman who just entered the courtroom: Roz. Roz? That couldn’t be right. Roz couldn’t possibly be Fielding’s mystery woman. True, she **was** beautiful, smart, and funny, but Mac would have bet a week’s wages that the district attorney was far too shallow to see those qualities. He had to be wrong about this. But he didn’t think he was.

He was just about to ask Fielding if Roz was his anonymous girlfriend when a Girl Scout came in selling cookies. Mac pulled out some money to give the child; by the time he’d finished the transaction, Fielding had disappeared and he didn’t see Roz any longer either. This pretty much cinched Mac’s suspicions, but he decided to keep it to himself for a little while longer. If Fielding wanted this kept secret, it would be a shame to spill the beans before he’d had a chance to torture the other man for a bit. This could be fun.

~*~*~

More than one person had told Roz over the years that she was a “glass half empty” type of gal, but even she was not pessimistic enough to have envisioned a day such as today. If there was such a thing as a perfect day, that’s what the beginning of her day had been shaping up to be. A rose, mind-blowing sex, an amazing lunch, an unexpected insight into her whatever-the-hell-Dan-was-to-her, and a brand new gun: how could any day possibly top that unless it ended with an electric bull? It was amazing how quickly it had all turned to doggie doodoo. 

“I’m sorry, Russell, but I have no choice.” Her supervisor sounded sincere, but she couldn’t look at him. She couldn’t tear her eyes off of the pink slip of paper in her hands. “Shannon is suing the city and somebody has to pay. Some pencil pusher in City Hall has decided that that somebody is you.”

“What if **I** sue for wrongful termination?”

“You’ll probably lose,” was the response. “And even if you don’t, unless you’re going for more than ten mill, the city will still see it as a win.”

That finally got Roz to look at her boss. “Bull’s suing for **ten million**? As in, ten million **dollars**?”

Her supervisor grinned cynically. “Yep. I guess the big guy is smarter than he looks.”

“Guess so.” Roz folded up the slip carefully and put it in the pocket of her jacket. “Do you want me to clear out my locker right now, or can I do it at the end of my normal shift?”

“It doesn’t have to be done right this second, but have it done **before** the end of your shift. And please, stay out of my sight until you’re ready to leave. If I see you after the next hour or so, I’ll have to escort you out of the building, and I don’t want to do that. You deserve better.”

“I appreciate that.” Roz stuck out her hand. “So, I guess this is goodbye, then.”

“Guess it is. Good luck, Russell.” Her erstwhile boss shook her hand, spun on his heel, and left.

In a daze, Roz wandered towards Harry’s courtroom. She had no idea what she wanted to say or do there until she entered and immediately caught Dan’s gaze. For some strange, inexplicable reason, all she wanted to do was talk to Dan. Rather than questioning her motivation, she gestured towards him and then walked back out. She waited just outside the doors, and he appeared a moment later.

“What’s up?” he asked with a grin. She nodded towards the shoeshine seats and they both sat down, then Roz wordlessly handed him her pink slip. “What? You’ve been fired?” He sighed deeply. “I’m so sorry. I guess this means we won’t be keeping the same schedule any longer. Damnit.”

And **this** was why she should have thought twice before confiding in Dan. Empathy wasn’t exactly his strong suit. “You’re right, Fielding. The possibility that I might be asleep when you get off work and want to get laid; that’s the **real** tragedy here.”

Dan looked confused for a second and then guilty. “Wait, I didn’t mean… Well, I did mean, but I didn’t think… Uh, can I start over?” Roz wanted a friend more than she wanted to be pissed, so she nodded. Besides, it wan’t right to be mad at Dan for being Dan. “Roz, this is terrible. And surprising. I thought you getting that big gun was a sign that your boss liked you.”

“It was the gun that did it. I violated one of the most basic rules of firearm safety: don’t allow knuckleheads access to your weapons.”

“Wait. You’re being fired because of Bull? Seriously?”

Roz shrugged. “He’s suing the city and apparently I’m paying. That’s how city bureaucracies work.”

“Motherfucker,” Dan growled. Roz wasn’t certain if he meant Bull or the mayor; probably both.

“I suppose I’d better tell Harry then go clean out my locker.” Roz hesitated, then went for broke. “I’m thinking of going to Monty’s and getting drunk tonight. Would you mind meeting me there after you get off work? I probably won’t feel like sex, but I’d very much like a friend. I think I really **need** a friend tonight, and not a naked one.”

Most of the time, Dan was Dan, but sometimes he could surprise you. He didn’t hesitate for even a moment before taking her hand and saying, “You’ve got one. I’ll even show up with a large supply of clean handkerchiefs, just in case you need them. You bring the insulin shots though. You might need one if you’re drinking; I can give it to you if you get too drunk to do it yourself.”

Roz smiled sweetly. “Thank you, Dan.”

“Hey.” He waggled his eyebrows. “If there’s not going to be any sex tonight, I need to look for other ways to play doctor.”

The two of them walked back into court as Bull was speaking from his wheelchair. He was in mid sentence, “—is my lawyer and he promised me nothing bad was going to happen.”

That was too much for Roz. She couldn’t keep the sneer out of her voice when she interrupted their conversation. “Oh yeah? Because of that law suit, I just got fired.”

To his credit, Bull did sound guilty when he asked, “They fired you on account of me?!?”

She handed over the paper. “See for yourself. Fact is, I did violate the first rule of firearm safety: never lend your gun to a moron.”

Harry snatched her pink slip out of Bull’s hands with an outraged, “I’m not going to let them get away with this!”

Roz felt a wave of affection for her boss. His assumption that he could always right an evil universe was probably his most endearing trait. (At least in her opinion. Dan frequently mentioned it as his most annoying characteristic.) “Thank you, sir, but the city needs **somebody** to blame it on when they get sued for ten million dollars.”

All four men yelled out “Ten million!” in shock. She could understand whey Harry, Mac, and Dan were all surprised, but it was a bit strange that Bull was as well. How could he not know?

Dan had straightened himself up to his full height, which he tended to do only when he was trying to impress someone or if he was angry. The look in his eyes told Roz that it was the latter in this case. “Ya know, Bull, people are always telling me that I’m greedy and will do anything for money, but I’ve **never** screwed over a friend for filthy lucre. You’re a moral midget.”

“I didn’t mean for Roz to get hurt,” Bull whined. “Besides, they do say that the big toe is the key to good posture. I probably need it for my job.”

“Good luck in doing your job when nobody is ever going to trust you again, you fucking Judas.” Dan shook his head in disgust then pointedly went over to his desk and started shuffling papers. Roz didn’t think she’d ever seen him look so pissed. Harry and Bull both looked confused by the district attorney’s righteous rage, but Mac seemed thoughtful.

Harry quickly scanned through the papers Roz had handed him. “Dan, why don’t you go to your office for a few minutes to cool off. Me, I’m going to make a few calls and get to the bottom of this. And Bull, I would suggest that **you** have a talk with your cousin Ralph.” 

~*~*~

As Roz suspected, there was nothing Harry could do to save her job. She had to give the man credit, he did make a bunch of calls and called in a bunch of favors, but there really were no options. Dan came in halfway through this process. He didn’t say a word, silently standing in front of Harry’s desk and glowering.

When all the calls were made, Roz left to go clear out her locker. Dan started to follow her, but Mac grabbed his arm. “Say, wait a minute, Dan. Can I talk to you for a minute?” He nodded, so Roz continued on by herself.

After she cleared out her locker, Roz went to the courtroom to make peace with Bull. She couldn’t let Dan’s angry words stay in the big guy’s head; despite what had happened, she was too fond of him to blame him for her dismissal. She figured going to say goodbye would let him know that they were okay as far as she was concerned.

Except, after their little chat, she found herself starting to agree with Dan after all. Bull was faking his injury. That would have been bad enough, but the big dummy wasn’t even doing it for the money or any other reason that she could possibly understand; she had lost her job simply because Bull wanted the approval of his slime ball cousin, and could only get it by agreeing to Cousin Ralph’s scam. The fact that she was collateral damage barely registered with her so-called friend. 

Disgusted, she went to go hang out in the cafeteria until the end of the dinner break. She hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye to Christine yet, and she refused to go until she had. She wasn’t surprised when Dan plopped down in the other chair at her table a few minutes later. “I just had an… _interesting_ discussion with Mac.”

“I doubt it could hold a candle to the little chat I just had with Bull.” Dan lifted an eyebrow, clearly indicating that she should go first. “It turns out that he’s faking that injury. He isn’t hurt at all.”

“But the wheelchair?”

“Just for show.”

Dan let out a little yelp of distress. “You mean that he could have stood up and pummeled me when I yelled at him?”

Roz’s smiled. “I don’t need you to defend me, Dan—I can do that perfectly well on my own—but I was kind of touched that you did. But are you telling me that the **only** reason you stood up to Bull was because you didn’t think there was anything he could do about it?”

He looked confused. “Well… yeah. I wouldn’t have done it if I’d known he could still put me in traction.”

Roz shook her head fondly. Everything about that was completely Dan, all the way down to his bafflement at her assumption that he’d put himself in physical danger on her account. He was what he was. Still, perhaps she could change him just a **little**. “How about you come to the gym with me some time? I can teach you how to fight. You might not be able to take out Bull by the time I’m done with you, but at least you’ll be able to hold your own.”

“Why on earth would I want to do that?!?”

“I’ll tell you what. I’m thinking of a nice little incentive that you’ll get when you’re able to stay in the ring with me for five rounds.”

He grinned. “Like what?”

“Do you recall what we did last Wednesday?” The lecherous look she received was answer enough, though honestly, she would have been shocked if he’d forgotten. Roz had suggested a threesome, partly because she was curious but mostly because she could tell that Dan missed picking up women. She figured that he might find it easier to remain faithful if he had an approved outlet for that. It had surprised her how much she’d enjoyed the experience and how badly she wanted to repeat it. Well, here was a way to kill two birds with one stone. “When you can make it through five rounds, we’ll do that again, only this time, you choose. By yourself. No input from me and no veto power."

Dan's eyes glowed happily. “Deal!” He stuck out his hand and she shook it with a smile.

“Now, what did Mac want to talk to you about?”

Immediately, a somewhat guilty expression came over Dan’s face. “Yeah. About that.”

Suspicious now, Roz growled, “What about what?”

Before Dan could respond, Cousin Ralph suddenly came whizzing into cafeteria in Bull’s wheelchair and crashed into the salad bar. Roz went over and smashed his face into something gloppy and came back to her seat without a word.

Dan looked confused. “Why is that guy in Bull’s wheelchair?”

“That’s Bull’s cousin, Ralph. The lawsuit was his idea. I’m guessing that Bull is dropping the suit. I may not be back on Monday, but I bet I will be before the end of next week.”

Dan beamed. “That’s great!”

“Yeah, it is.” Roz smiled briefly, but then she remembered the bad feeling she’d had a moment before. “So. You were going to tell me about Mac.”

Dan giggled nervously. “Was I?”

“You were,” Roz said firmly.

He sighed. “Okay. Well, the thing is, Mac wanted to tell me that he knows. About us.”

“You blabbed.”

“No!” Dan yelped, way too quickly for him to be truly innocent.

“Yeah, well, you said **something** to tip him off. Damnit, Dan! You promised me that we’d keep this between the two of us. What is it about today that all my friends are stabbing me in the back?”

He looked stricken at that. “No, seriously, Roz, he guessed. All on his own. Okay, okay, I guess I **may** have asked him for some advice about staying faithful to one woman, and possibly **may** have mentioned that this is something I’m trying to do, but I **swear** that your name never came up!” She sighed, and he must have taken that as a sign of forgiveness (which it WASN’T), because his expression relaxed a bit. “But don’t worry! I’ve taken care of everything. Mac hasn’t said a word to anyone and he **won’t** say anything. He promised.”

“He made you pay him, didn’t he?” He nodded dejectedly. “So, he’s blackmailing you.”

Dan winced. “Gee, Roz… Blackmail is such a harsh term. I don’t think I—“

“Screw what you think. That’s what he’s doing. He’s blackmailing both of us, me included.” Roz stood up decisively. “Well, I’m not having it.” She pointed at the box containing all the possessions that had been in her locker for the last three years. “Watch my stuff.” And with that, she marched off to do battle with the court clerk.

~*~*~

Dan couldn’t understand how his day had gone so wrong. This morning, he had been secure in two comfortable facts: his whatever-it-was with Roz was going really well and his life was finally going someplace good. Since then, he had failed in his attempt to find out how Roz viewed them, humiliated himself by discussing Patty, come altogether too close to cheating on Roz, insulted Bull, and been indiscreet with Mac. Also, he clearly hadn’t handled things very well when Roz told him about her dismissal, though he still wasn’t entirely clear what it was that he had done. Altogether, he suspected that he had a fifty-fifty chance of being dumped before this damned day was finally over.

As he sat there contemplating the wreck of his fortunes, one of architects of that wreckage ambled into the cafeteria. “Remarkable recovery there, Bull. Where’s the wheelchair?”

The tall bailiff looked embarrassed. “I don’t actually need it. I never really needed it.”

“But how are you going to get your big pay off from the city without it?”

“I’m dropping the lawsuit. You were right. Roz’s job wasn’t worth the money. I never should have listened to my cousin in the first place. Now, I just need to figure out a way to make it up to her.”

“If I tell you how to do that, will you promise not to hurt me for calling you a ‘moral midget’?”

Bull smiled. “I wouldn’t have hurt you anyway. Like I said, you were right. But if you have an idea of how I can get Roz to forgive me, I’ll forgive you.”

Dan leaned over and put his hand on Bull’s shoulder. “What you do is go in— **with** Roz—before work on Monday. Tell the city manager that you are willing to drop your lawsuit, but it is entirely dependent upon them reinstating Roz at her previous level of seniority.”

Bull scrunched up his face in a parody of concentration and dutifully repeated, “Entirely dependent.”

“Right. But don’t forget to insist that she be reinstated at her previous level of seniority. If you don’t, they’ll try to treat her like a new hire and pay her a lot less than they have been.”

Bull nodded his head. “Got it! Anything else?”

“Yeah.” Dan grinned. “She asked me to watch her stuff for her, but I have some place I need to be. I’m sure she’d be happy if you agreed to watch this box for her until she comes back.”

“Ooooh-kay!” Bull saluted Dan smartly. “Consider the contents of this box secured!”

Dan clapped the bailiff on the shoulder. “Great. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it. Gotta go.”

He went in search of Roz and found her talking to Mac in the hallway outside of Harry’s office. As he approached, he heard her say, “—you, Mac. I owe you.” She then leaned over to kiss the clerk on the cheek. It was innocent, a friend’s kiss, and yet it roiled Dan’s guts as much as if he’d swallowed a live scorpion. 

Knowing he was on thin ice with Roz, Dan forced a smile he didn’t feel and a jovial tone. “Woah. What’s all this? I thought you were a married man, Mac.”

Mac shot him a sour look, which turned sourer a moment later when Roz said, “Oh, yeah. That reminds me. I didn’t think I’d ever have to say this again after I graduated from high school, but what the hell. No one takes my man’s lunch money, Mac. Give it back.”

“What are you talking about, Roz?” She just looked at him until he sighed, dug out his wallet, and placed a twenty into her outstretched palm. “Fine!”

“Thanks again.” She turned towards Dan and gave him a ferocious scowl. “And what the hell are **you** grinning about? It can’t be about getting your money back because I’m keeping it. You still owe me for your share of our last three taxis.”

“You called me _your man_ ,” said Dan. It surprised him just how pleased he was by the sound of that. “If I’m your man, does that mean I can refer to you as _my woman_?”

“Shut up.”

Dan was far too gleeful about finally getting some clarity as to his relationship with Roz to listen to her warning tone. “Me Tarzan. You—“

“About to break your damn nose if you don’t shut up.”

Mac shook his head in disgust and went into Harry’s office, probably to tell him that it was time to reconvene court. Dan knew that he should probably stop teasing Roz before Harry came out, but he was too damn happy at the moment. So he leaned close to her ear and dropped his voice. “There are privileges to being my woman, you know.”

She stared at him challengingly. “Yeah?”

“I plan to spend the weekend in bed proving it to you, but here’s a start.” He fished out his keys and held out his hand. “Why don’t you borrow my car so you don’t have to take your box of stuff on the subway. I’ll get them from you when I meet you at Monty’s after work.”

She smiled. “I didn’t think you loaned your car to anyone, Fielding. You must really like me.”

He smiled back at her but didn’t say anything. It scared him, a little, just how big of an understatement that was.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small disagreement leads Dan and Roz to two huge realizations. Unfortunately, they aren't the same ones.
> 
> Contains a small amount of dialogue from ep 7.21, "My Three Dads."

“Aw, c’mon,” Dan whined. “It’ll be fun!”

Roz huffed, more from irritation than from the exertion of climbing the stairs up to Dan’s apartment. “You bought an Italian suit you couldn’t afford and are now having trouble meeting this month’s rent. But you’re still claiming that I should give up my apartment and move in with you just for the fun of it?”

“Of course!” He turned around to look at her face and then threw his hands into the air. “Okay. You win. So you don’t want to give up your apartment? No problem! I’ll just move in with you.”

“It’s not happening, Dan.”

“Why not? We spend almost every night together anyway. Why are we paying for two apartments?”

“The key word there is _almost_. We spend **almost** every night together. And do you know why the almost is in there?” 

Roz reached the landing by Dan’s apartment so she was able to see his broad grin when he responded, “Because you’re not used to the amount of sexual ecstasy I’m able to bring you, and you sometimes need a break just so you can catch your breath?”

“No.” She gave him a slight smack on he back of his head. “It’s because sometimes you get on my damn nerves.”

Dan grabbed Roz’s arm and spun her around so that her back was against the door to his apartment. He pressed his body against hers and lowered his voice to a growl. “Well, if you’re going to keep your nerves inside a body like yours, of **course** I’m going to want to be on top of them.”

Roz tried to scowl at him, but against her will, her face broke into an amused smile. He grinned back at her, opened the door, and ushered her inside. 

Instead of escorting Roz to his bedroom, Dan went straight for his answering machine. He had taken to listening to his messages in front of her and she wasn’t quite clear why. His machine was always filled with drippy messages from vacuous sounding girls who wanted to know why they hadn’t seen Danny “in, like, **forever**.” Roz wondered if he played them for her because he needed her to know that he was deleting them all, or perhaps as a subtle reminder that there were plenty of other women who wanted him if she ever decided that she didn’t. Then again, given the little sigh of regret he’d let up every once in a while, perhaps he just felt like he needed her presence to keep himself honest. 

Dan deleted the first three messages largely unheard; it only took a few seconds to realize that they were all the same anyway, and apparently none of them were from women that particularly tempted him. The fourth one, however, froze him like a statue the second he heard a woman with a strong southern accent. _”Hello, Danny Boy. It’s your mama. You never returned Daddy Bob’s phone call, but he thought you might return mine. We sure do miss you, son. I’m so hoping that you’re planning to come down for our fiftieth wedding anniversary in June! We’re having a big party, and it just won’t be the same without you. Please call, Danny, and let us know that you’re planning to come to our party. I’ll be heartbroken if you aren’t there, and the longer you take to let us know, the more I’m starting to worry. Well, good-bye, son. We love you.”_

Dan stopped the machine, neither deleting the message from his mother nor playing the last two messages on his machine. He stared bleakly at the machine for a moment then clapped his hands and turned towards Roz with a blatantly false smile. “So! Where were we?”

“About to call your Mama back?”

His smile turned even faker. “Nah, can’t do that. It’s pretty late for the old folks.”

“Will you call them tomorrow?”

“Busy day tomorrow! I’ve been thinking about Christine going to that childbirth class all by herself and it just doesn’t seem right. I snuck a peek at her brochure to get the address, so I’ll be able show up before the start of class and help her out.” His smile softened, turning slightly more genuine. “Besides, I can’t resist being in a room full of women who are completely DONE with men for a while. A dozen women to hit on, none of whom will ever say yes. Like I would ever skip an opportunity like that!”

“I can see why you’d want to go, but Christine’s class isn’t until tomorrow afternoon. You’re usually awake around ten; plenty of time to call mom before then.”

Dan dropped the smile. “Leave it.”

“Okay, after one question. This is the first I’ve heard of a party at your parent’s. Were you planning on taking me?”

Face entirely devoid of expression, Dan said flatly, “No.”

Roz was pissed. “So you’re good enough for my cousin’s wedding next week, but I’m not good enough to meet your mama?”

She may have been irritated, but the blaze in Dan’s eyes suggested that he was downright furious. “Ya know what, Roz? I’m starting to get what you meant about getting on each other’s nerves.”

Roz had witnessed Dan go into sudden and inexplicable rages a time or two before, and had never understood them. Truthfully, she’d never cared enough to understand them. Well, she cared now, but something told her that he needed space more than compassion, so she kept her voice carefully neutral in her response. “All right. So would you like me to leave then?”

He didn’t say anything for several seconds, just stared at her with the anger draining out of his eyes. Finally, he reached for her and pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. Into her hair, he whispered, “Stay. Please.”

~*~*~

Sex with Dan was seldom the same twice. He was endlessly creative, always with a new game or position or toy to try, and Roz reveled in it. But that night was different. In fact, they didn’t really have sex at all, because for the first time, Dan unashamedly made love to her. Instead of games, he focused on her and her body with all the passion and desperation of a drowning man, and it shook Roz to her core.

Afterwards, they held each other in silence. She laid her head on his chest while he gently caressed her hair. The peace and comfort of it all shook Roz just as much as the lovemaking had done, and she couldn’t help but wonder if she might be falling for Dan a bit more than was wise. Or perhaps a lot more than was wise.

A strange thought occurred to Roz as she was drifting off to sleep, _If we weren’t using protection, we might have created a child tonight. He would have been beautiful._ She simultaneously celebrated and grieved that child that would never be. If Dan wondered what made her smile as she drifted off into unconsciousness, he never asked.

~*~*~

Dan woke up alone. Before he could call for Roz, he noticed a piece of paper on her pillow. _I’ve got to run some errands today but you looked too peaceful to wake up._ Dan smiled at this then finished the rest of the note. _I’ll see you tonight. Good luck at the childbirth class, coach. -R p.s. You’re out of milk._

He grinned and leapt out of bed. While he certainly enjoyed Roz’s company, it was kind of nice to have a taste of his old life again. There was an artistry to getting a woman to leave his apartment before he woke up, and it was good to know that the ole Picasso instincts weren’t dead. Besides, after their almost-fight the night before and the amazing make-up sex afterwards, he had anticipated some uncomfortable questions this morning. Her absence meant he could postpone them. Hell, if enough time went by before they had a chance to talk, he might be able to avoid those questions altogether, and wasn’t that a beautiful possibility to the start of his day?

Since his empty apartment felt like a return to his previous life, Dan decided to embrace the feeling by jacking off in the shower. Without noticing the irony of celebrating Roz’s absence by thinking about her, he quickly focused in on the sex he’d had with Roz the night before. That had been his very first time to have make up sex, and he was now a certifiable fan. For the most part, he’d broken up (or, more often, simply stopped calling) women long before they could ever get to their first fight. As for the rest, those women who had started fighting with him before he broke up with them, he’d never made up with any of them. As a rule, sex was unlikely to be on the table after a woman chased you with an axe, set fire to your sofa, or sent you a dead animal. (The first two were obvious, of course. He’d discovered the third the hard way after a blonde named Kaydee showed up at his apartment with a dead chicken and dressed up like Hollywood’s version of a voodoo priestess. He’d assumed that it was a role-playing game up until the moment she threw blood in his face and all over his favorite tie. He’d erred on the side of caution about the dead animal thing ever other time it had come up since then.)

He was still thinking about Roz after his shower was over, specifically about the almost-but-not-quite fight they’d had the night before. It hadn’t been about her, but she almost bore the brunt of the fact that he was a grown man who still didn’t know how to deal with his parents. It had been 25 years since he moved to New Orleans to go to college, and in all those years, he had never once gone back to Paris… and yet, the thought of going home still made him feel sick to his stomach. When she’d suggested that he should take her with him to see his parents, he’d gone straight into fight-or-flight mode.

One of his coworkers—was it Billie? Mac? It may have even been Roz—had once called him the King of the Overshare. It was Harry who’d figured out that he said far more about some aspects of his life than he needed to in order to prevent people from asking about the parts he didn’t want uncovered. Roz had never said anything explicitly, but Dan suspected that she might be the second person to have figured that out about him, because she’d gotten good at asking the questions he preferred to avoid, but last night was the first time she’d touched on a part of his life that he desperately wanted left the hell alone. But then, astonishingly, she did the one thing Harry **never** did at that point: she backed off. She’d backed off, he’d regained the ability to breathe, and he **didn’t** say anything unforgivable to her. He kind of loved her for that.

That last thought stopped Dan cold. He turned it over in his brain several times and decided that it wasn’t quite true. He did love Roz, but there was no qualifying _kind of_ about it. He supposed that realization should have frightened him, or at least surprised him, but it didn’t. It was just a simple fact. He needed food, sex, oxygen, sleep, and, apparently, Roz in order to get through his day. There was absolutely nothing complicated about his feelings about her.

That, of course, complicated his life immensely.

~*~*~

Roz was enjoying a cup of coffee by herself in the cafeteria when Mac pulled up the empty chair at her table. “Where’s your shadow?”

“At Christine’s Lamaze class. He decided to volunteer to be her birthing coach.”

Mac chuckled. “Well, that should be interesting. Harry called me this afternoon to tell me that he’ll be a little late because **he** had decided to be Christine’s coach.”

Roz wasn’t surprised. “Bull too. He left me a note on my locker.” She shook her head. “Poor Christine. All that testosterone; you know it’s going to turn into some kind of pissing contest.”

Mac nodded. “Yup. They’re lucky it’s Christine though. Women get cranky in the third trimester. Quon Le would have pulled the arms off of anyone dumb enough to pull any macho crap on **her**.”

Feeling the need to defend her friend, Roz scowled at him. “Christine can hold her own.”

Mac quirked an eyebrow but wisely didn’t say anything. “So, are you ready to be an honorary auntie?”

“I’m a real auntie to several rugrats already, so I guess this won’t be any different.” Roz fought down a sigh. “Except I’ll be able to see this shorty every once in a while, which I never get to do with my sisters’ kids.”

“Must be tough. When was the last time you saw them?”

Roz smiled. “Too long, but I’ll see them soon. I’m going to Chicago next weekend and I’m really looking forward to it.” Mac looked quizzically at her, so she elaborated. “My cousin’s getting married and everyone will be there. It’ll be nice to finally have a date to show off at a family event; hopefully all the Aunties will leave off matchmaking for once.”

“You’re bringing **Dan**? To meet your family? Are you out of your goddamned mind?”

Even though Roz could understand Mac’s astonishment—and indeed, she would have shared it just two months ago—it still pissed her off. “I guess I must be if I’m talking to you about it.” 

She got up to leave but Mac grabbed her wrist. “Look, Roz. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get out of line; I’m just worried about you.” She sat back down, but the scowl on her face remained. “When I asked you what you were doing with Dan, you told me, ‘ _The sex is good and we keep the same hours._ ’”

“I think I said the sex was incredible.”

“I’m still pretending I never heard that,” Mac said with an elaborate shudder. “The point is, it’s a long way from _it’s convenient_ to _I’m bringing him home to meet the folks_. What’s changed? And don’t tell me that you’ve fallen in love with the guy, because whatever it was that Quon Le made me for lunch today might very well look worse coming back up than it did on my plate. At best, it will be a toss up.”

“No, I’m not in love with Dan,” Roz said, to which an unwanted voice in her head added, _yet. Not yet, but getting dangerously close_. “But he might be around for a while anyway.”

Mac looked appalled. “Marriage?”

“God, no!” Roz responded quickly. “Definitely **not** marriage. But Christine’s pregnancy has me thinking about being a mom and my clock is ticking. I’ll be 36 in a little under two months.”

“That’s not so old.”

“Maybe not, but it’s not so young either. And since my diabetes makes any pregnancy high risk one, it’s probably older than I should be if I want to do this thing.” To her knowledge, Roz had never thought about having children before the previous night, but as she was speaking, it all sounded so **right**. Clearly this had been percolating in her subconscious for a while, because as the words were spoken aloud, she realized that this was truly what she wanted. Curious to know where her subconscious was leading her, Roz continued. “In order to get the ball rolling, I’m thinking about asking Dan if he’d be willing to give me some of his sperm.” She smiled. “The old-fashioned way, of course.”

“Dan?!? A father? Seriously?”

“I don’t see anyone else stepping up to volunteer for the job,” Roz said sourly. “Also, keep your damn voice down. They could hear you six floors down.”

“Sorry,” he muttered, before continuing in a much quieter voice, “But you can’t seriously be considering having a kid with Dan **Fielding**. I mean, come on, Roz! Where is your head?”

“Why not Dan?” she whispered furiously. “I could do a whole lot worse.“

“I don’t see how,” Mac muttered petulantly.

Oddly enough, Mac’s irritation steadied Roz and she was able to respond with much more equanimity. “Look, if it makes you feel any better, you could just look at him as a sperm donor. You know that he does that sometimes; I’ll just be getting a deposit for free.”

“That’s bull hockey, and you know it, Roz. If you went down to the local sperm bank, you’d never pick him out of a book of strangers.”

“Why not? He’s not bad looking, and if they mentioned that he was a lawyer, I’d assume that he was reasonably intelligent. I might pick him.”

Mac smiled condescendingly. “No way. There are plenty of smart black men, and that’s what you would choose… **if** , as you say, the only thing you were looking for was the perfect anonymous stranger to father your child.”

“What are you saying?”

Mac sighed deeply. “Look. Renee is perfect and I don’t want her to be any different than she is, but I gotta say, that being a parent to a mixed race baby isn’t easy. I don’t care if it’s hard because I would never want to have a child with anyone other than Quon Le, but that’s because I’m head over heels in love with her. If I had no feelings involved and it was all academic, well…”

“So?”

“So nothing. Just admit that you don’t want some generic baby, you want **Dan** ’s baby, and that’s going to come with some problems.”

Roz was feeling more and more defensive, which was making her sound increasingly aggressive. “Like what, exactly?”

“Like, good luck in getting child support on time, considering that Dan is always broke.” Roz couldn’t help nodding; that was actually a pretty valid point. But Mac wasn’t done. “And how about the fact that he never thinks of anyone but himself? He’ll never remember your kid’s birthday or a weekly baseball game. He’ll disappoint that poor kid over and over again, throughout his or her entire childhood.”

“You’re wrong,” Roz said flatly.

“Oh yeah?” Mac smiled. “You said your birthday is in two months?”

“May first.”

“Okay. I’ll bet you twenty bucks that Dan either forgets or, more likely, he remembers but doesn’t bother to get you anything.”

This sounded entirely plausible to Roz, but she felt like she’d gone too far in defending her semi-boyfriend to back down now, so she stuck her hand out. “You’re on!” Roz mentally deducted $20.00 from her checking account as they shook hands. Unless Mac forgot before then, she could kiss the new boxing gloves she’d planned to give herself for her birthday goodbye.

~*~*~

Christine arrived at work about half an hour later, eyes blazing. Roz followed her into the court room. “Between us, Mac and I figured out that you had at least three coaches show up at your childbirth class. Were they all asses, or just Dan?”

“Oh, it wasn’t **just** Dan. If there was some kind of contest for being a giant poopyhead, the three of them would have tied!” Christine sighed and sat down, all the rage and energy drained out of her. She propped her head up with one hand and sighed again. “It was like my baby—my **life** —was just a game to them and all they cared about was who was winning. Who was the best prepared? Who knew the most? Who was the best breather? Who did I like best? It was a nightmare!”

“I’m sorry, Christine. Did you learn anything useful?”

“Well, let’s see… The guys interrupted the doula while she was teaching, they puffed in my face, somebody spit at me, they yelled in my ear, Dan hit on both the teacher and a mother-to-be that looked like she was fifteen, Harry lectured a room full of pregnant women about the dangers of pain medication, Bull bragged about licking kittens (don’t ask), all three squabbled like three year olds, and then they tore my baby apart like a pack of jackals.”

Roz felt bad for her friend, but for some reason, Mac was amused. “Now, that’s a birthing method I’m not familiar with.” 

“Oh, I suppose she would have been better off with your method,” Roz snapped. “Freak out and faint.”

Perhaps the fainting was still a sore subject with Mac, but Roz suspected he was still as irritated by their earlier conversation as she was. “You’re talking about yesterday?” he demanded. “That was just because I skipped lunch.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!”

Roz reached over and grabbed one of Christine’s pamphlets for her childbirth class. Mac immediately looked unwell and claimed he had some filing to do.

Christine seemed to relax a bit after Mac left. Roz suspected that she really just wanted to talk to a girlfriend. “Oh, I don’t know, Roz. One moment I think I can handle this all on my own, and the next I think I need somebody to lean on. And then I worry that there’s nobody I can depend on, and then I don’t know what to think! What the heck is the matter with me?”

Roz’s heart swelled with affection for her sometimes annoying but always well-meaning friend. “You’re having a baby.”

Christine smiled sweetly, but before she could say anything, the Three Toddlers showed up, each looking remorseful. “Ms. Sullivan,” Harry said tentatively. “You got a minute?”

Bull pulled up a hideously deformed doll. “We fixed your baby!”

Christine looked touched. “Oh, guys.”

Harry came over to the table. “And, uh, we figured that we owe you an apology. I guess the, uh, reason we’ve been acting the way we have is because each of us, in his own way, thinks of the baby as his own.” 

Roz was less impressed than her friend. “Yeah, let’s see who steps forward the first time that kid loads his diaper."

Christine stood up. “Yeah, I guess this little tyke has us all thrown for a loop. I mean, just **thinking** about the possibility of having to raise this child alone has got me imagining all kinds of things.”

Dan spoke up for the first time, using a gentle voice that Roz had only ever heard from him a few times before, and those only when they were in bed. “Christine, we’ll be there.”

Roz stopped paying attention to the conversation at that point and just stared at Dan in wonder. The way he promised to be there for Christine, there was no way he didn’t mean it. Roz suddenly understood why Mac had pissed her off so badly earlier; it was because he was **wrong**. She wasn’t an idiot for wanting to have a baby with Dan. He might be a giant child in a lot of ways, but she could count on him when it mattered. She was now getting confirmation of what her gut had known all along.

When Roz zoned back in, Christine was speaking. “Well, as a matter of fact, I, uh, have decided to go with a coach. I figured, um, I should choose the one of you who’s proven to be the coolest head in a crisis. Roz.”

If Roz had needed a sign from the universe that she was making the right choice, Christine’s decision to make her her birthing coach would have been pretty convincing. But Roz didn’t need a sign. All she needed was Dan’s sincere declaration, “ _We’ll be there_.” He hadn’t said it to her, but she knew that the promise would cover her as well.

~*~*~

Dan was as jumpy as a cat. Earlier, he had flashed Roz their agreed upon hand signal for broom closet sex over the dinner break, but for the first time ever, she shook her head “no.” Instead, she brought her hand up to her mouth and made a clapping motion with her fingers, the universal sign for “talking.” He had coolly mouthed “my office” in response, but the truth was he felt anything **but** cool. He had zero experience with relationships that lasted long enough that either party felt the need to talk about said relationship, but every man alive knew that nothing good ever happened when his woman told him, “We need to talk,” especially when the couple had had a fight the night before. Damnit. He had thought that he had controlled his anger pretty well the night before, that he had avoided unleashing it all on Roz, but obviously he hadn’t. 

It wasn’t just Dan’s Y-chromosome telling him that this was going to end badly for him. The fact was that whenever things were going well for him, that was almost always a sign that the universe was about to fuck him over. There was a symmetry to Roz dumping him on the very same day that he realized that he was in love with her, so of course that was exactly what was in store for him over the dinner break. 

He did his job, as he always did, but his mind was only half on his cases. All during the afternoon session, he maintained an internal debate as to whether he should show up at his office when Harry gaveled the dinner break, or whether he should take some anonymous bimbo to the broom closet for some truly meaningless sex. He had no doubt that he could find somebody; he had always had a talent for finding women who just wanted to get off without the social shame of being seen in public with an obvious one night stand. He wouldn’t have time to be picky, but since there was no way he was going to find a woman anywhere near Roz’s caliber, it didn’t matter one way or the other.

On the one hand, he might be able to maintain some of his pride if he stood Roz up; on the other hand, Roz admired people who stood up for themselves, so he might be able to convince her to stay with him if he didn’t meekly take his dumping. On the third hand, he clearly remembered the humiliation of fighting for Patty, only to have her say, “Sorry Dan” and walk out of his life. He **never** wanted that to happen to him again. Not ever.

He thought back to the pep talk Roz had given him a few months ago, when he was almost disbarred. It was clear that there was no greater sin in her eyes than a refusal to fight back. If Roz wanted to go back to their previous relationship, then that was what she wanted; but he couldn’t bear her contempt, not after she’d come to mean so much to him. So, he’d go and take his lumps, whatever they were.

Having finally made up his mind, Dan was anxious for the dinner break so that he could just get the damn thing over with. Still, when Mac announced the final case on the docket, his heart began pounding like a jackhammer.

Harry, on the other hand, was delighted by their last case. “Well, as I live and breathe: Easy Mary! How the hell are you? Haven’t seen you in my court for a while.”

The elderly blonde simpered. “Good to see you, Judge. Did you miss me?”

“Course I did!” Harry declared stoutly. “But where’ve you been? Don’t tell me you’ve been seeing other judges behind my back.”

She looked remorseful, which was a sham. Easy Mary had been a prostitute for close to forty years and Dan doubted she had ever felt a moment of shame during all that time. But she certainly could fake it; he wished he’d known her in her prime. “I’m sorry, your Honor, but I have. I went to Indiana for my sister’s funeral but didn’t have enough money to make it back to New York, so I’ve been working from truck stop to truck stop. I’ve seen lots of judges over the past couple of months, but none of them have been as kind or handsome as you.”

Harry beamed. “Well, as long as I’m still your favorite…”

“Oh, you are!”

Dan had had enough. “As much as I’ve enjoyed watching this mutual appreciation society, if we could get back to the matter at hand…”

“Certainly, Mr. Prosecutor. What are the charges? I’m guessing solicitation.”

“Oddly enough, no. One charge of breaking and entering and one charge of desecration of a human corpse.”

“Desecra— Easy! Whatever you were paid, it wasn’t enough!”

“Oh, no, Judge,” Mary objected. “It wasn’t like that at all. See, Jimmy was my oldest and most loyal customer and—“

“Liar!” Dan turned around and saw a man and a woman, both in their early thirties, standing up in the back and shaking their fists. The woman continued, “She’s lying! Daddy would **never** have gone to a woman like that! Not even once!”

Harry banged his gavel. “Settle down! I will not permit outbursts like that in my court.” He turned towards Dan. “I presume those are the children of the Desecrated Dad?”

“Presumably, sir.” Dan checked his notes. “Phyllis and James Jr., children of James Schiller Senior. They are the plaintiffs in the case.”

“Then why weren’t they up here in the first place?” Dan shrugged. He hadn’t known that they would be here. Harry shrugged back at him and then addressed the onlookers. “Well, Phyllis and James Jr., if you two can show adequate decorum in my courtroom and not interrupt, you may approach the bench.”

Phyllis grabbed her brother’s arm and started walking briskly forward. “Thank you, Your Honor.”

“Now, Easy,” Harry said, turning towards the defendant. “Why don’t you finish telling your story, **without interruption**.” He turned towards the plaintiffs. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Perfectly, Your Honor,” said James Jr. with a nasty look at his sister.

“So, when he was young, Jimmy married a rich woman who wasn’t too, erm, **adventurous**. In the bedroom, I mean.” Phyllis Schiller hissed, but said nothing after Harry glared at her. “His wife said he could find other outlets for his, uh, urges, just so long as he didn’t divorce her and marry the bit on the side. He figured he probably wouldn’t fall in love with a pro, so that’s why he started coming to me. Our arrangement worked well for all three of us and he kept it up after his wife died.” Easy Mary turned towards the plaintiffs with a treacly smile. “But Jimmy often told me that his children were little prigs who wouldn’t understand and he didn’t want them to ever find out.” James Jr. raised his hand, but like his sister, settled down after a stern look from the bench. “So, the other night, we were together but it turned out his heart didn’t work as well as his other organs—or, you know, just the **one** organ, which worked **REALLY** well—and he died during, well, you know. Normally I would have called the police—“

“As you should have done this time,” Harry said sternly. 

“But I didn’t want it getting in the papers. Jimmy wouldn’t have cared, but he knew his kids would, so I borrowed a grocery cart from my friend Papaya Patty and—“

Harry never applied the same rules to himself as he did to others, and the injunction against interrupting was no exception. “Wait a minute. Papaya Patty. I know that name…”

“She’s come before you several times, Your Honor,” Dan reminded him. “Mostly for vagrancy, loitering, and panhandling.”

“Oh yeah! I remember her!” Harry looked puzzled. “She has friends?” Easy Mary shrugged so Harry nodded at her to continue.

“Anyway, I wheeled Jimmy to his home and tried to take him to his sofa or easy chair or something, so it would look like he died of natural causes—“

“As opposed to horizontal causes,” quipped Dan. Harry gave him the same filthy look he’d been giving to the plaintiffs so Dan hung his head repentantly. “Sorry.”

“And **she** caught me and called the cops,” finished Mary, with an accusing finger pointed at Phyllis Schiller.

“Hmm….” Harry looked thoughtful, usually a sign that he intended to do something that he considered clever. (Privately, Dan acknowledged that Harry’s plans usually **were** clever, but he’d rather face an army of spiders than admit that out loud.) “These are some very serious charges, Mary, much more so than you normally face. How do you plead?”

“My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor,” said Christine. 

“Okay, this one will need to be remanded for a jury trial, but before I do that, I’ve gotta ask the plaintiffs: are you sure that this is what you want?”

“She **killed** Daddy,” Phyllis shrieked.

“Yeah, she did, and I’m sure she’s very sorry about that.” Harry looked at Mary, who nodded. “But if this goes to trial, it’s going to get into the paper. Is that what you really want, to have reporters camped outside of your house, waiting to get a quote from you about your _’libertine father’_ and the _’hooker with a heart of gold’_? It’s not about your father’s good name any longer, it’s about what kind of publicity you want for yourselves.”

“Good God,” muttered James Jr. in horror.

“Reporters at **our** house? They wouldn’t dare!”

Harry smiled. “Then I’d hazard a guess, Ms. Schiller, that you don’t know many reporters. Why, I know this guy named Craven who would stake out a sewer for a good sex story—“

“Probably because he spawned in a sewer, sir,” Mac said sourly.

“Good point! Okay, so he’d hang out at a— a— a **Barry Manilow** concert if he thought there was a disgusting sex story to be found there, and the only thing he likes better than sleazy sex stories are ones about unusual deaths. You combine those two and add in a wealthy family for good measure and—“

“And we’d never be able to leave our house again,” James Jr. muttered. “Okay, we get the picture. We’ll drop the charges.”

“We will not!” his sister exclaimed. Her brother scowled at her and an ugly look came over her face. “Fine. We will.”

Harry was all smiles. “Well, that’s fine! Are you fine, Mr. Prosecutor? Is the state willing to drop the charges?”

“The breaking and entering is no problem, but the body desecra—“ Harry’s look of disappointment got to Dan, so he dropped his head. “Fine. I’ll talk to my boss. If the DA approves, I’ll drop that charge as well.”

“Fine! Everybody’s fine! You’re free to go for now, Mary, but I want you back tomorrow— Is that enough time for you to talk to Vincent, Dan?” Dan nodded. “Okay, I want you back at this time tomorrow and I’ll officially dismiss the charges. You’ll walk out of here with no time and no…. fines!” Harry’s mouth opened wide in an exaggerated smile, clearly pleased with himself that he got to use both meanings for the word _fine_. Dan smiled politely since it wasn’t any dumber than any of the rest of Harry’s jokes. “Okay, that’s a wrap, people! See you after lunch; 9:15 on the dot!” He banged his gavel.

And that was it. Time to go face Roz.

Or not. 

Dan looked thoughtfully at Phyllis Schiller. She was **exactly** the type of woman who made a good mark. Just those few minutes in her presence and he had her number just as surely as if he had spent months chewing off his own arm in boredom by courting her. She was clearly desperate for a good fucking, but equally desperate to be a part of respectable society, so she made self-righteous proclamations and priggish poses that ensured no man with a healthy sex drive would ever come near her. The more she tried to overcome her sense of inadequacy by pretending to be the Virgin Mary, the more unattractive she became to men and the lower her self-esteem became, so she screamed even louder about the evils of sin. It was a vicious circle that she was never going to break, but he knew how to short circuit the cycle for ten for fifteen minutes. If he suggested a quickie, she’d go in a heartbeat, but only under the condition that they never talk again. This was fine with Dan. He had no desire to spend any more time with that bitch than he had to.

He considered that last thought. No, he really **didn’t** want to waste his time with easy marks like Phyllis Schiller. He never had, particularly, but the thought of spending ten minutes in the company of a woman like that was less appealing than it had been a couple of months ago. In fact, if he compared Phyllis to Roz, he didn’t want to touch her with a ten foot pole; so why was he thinking about touching her with his dick?

Dan sighed. As strange as it sounded, going to his office in order to get his heart broken really was the best option available to him. If this was what love was, it sucked rocks.

~*~*~

After Harry hit his gavel, Roz went to buy a sandwich that she could take out of the cafeteria then headed for Dan’s office. He wasn’t there, but she figured the line must have gotten longer after she left. As it inched on towards five minutes, she wondered whether the others might have good-naturedly demanded that Dan stay and eat with them, making it difficult for him to get away. She had just about decided to go back to the cafeteria when she saw Dan approaching, shoulders down and looking utterly defeated. Well, that explained his lateness; he must have been stopped by a judge or one of his superiors in the district attorney’s office and been chewed out over something. Dan always took stuff like that pretty hard.

Hoping to cheer him, Roz smiled brightly and said, “I was starting to think that you might be standing me up.”

Dan didn’t smile back but went directly to unlock his office. As he faced the door, he muttered so quietly that Roz barely heard him, “Thought about it. Almost did.”

A pit suddenly fell in her stomach. Roz had thought they were in a good place; how could she have misjudged the situation so badly? Maybe she’d misheard him? Despite her misgiving, she started as she’d planned. “I’ve almost come to a decision.”

“Goody.”

“What the **hell** is your problem, Fielding?”

Dan sighed. “Nothing.” He closed his eyes, shook his head, and then made his face go completely blank. “Really. It’s nothing. What’ve you decided?”

This was looking like less and less of a good idea all the time, but at some point during the last twenty-four hours, Roz had become committed to the idea of having children. She had to know how Dan felt about them and she had to know soon so that she could either go for it or find someone else while she was still young and healthy enough to become a mom. “I want to talk to you about this decision, but before I do, I need to know: why don’t you want me to meet your parents? Is it because they have a problem with black folks?”

“No!” Dan looked shocked. “Absolutely not! They love everybody; that’s what’s wrong with them.” He scrunched his eyes in thought then opened them wide. “Wait a minute. **This** is why you’re dumping me?”

“Dumping? Who said anything about anyone getting dumped?”

“You’re not—?” Dan squeaked. He then coughed, straightened up both his spine and his tie, and then continued in a much deeper voice. “Um, of course you’re not dumping me. Why would you? You’re smart enough to know you’ll never find another man like me and—“

“Thank God for that!” Roz said fervently. 

“Ha ha.” Dan frowned at her, but he clearly didn’t mean it because his eyes were glowing happily. 

“But why would you think I was breaking up with you?”

“We had our first fight last night and—“

Roz was astonished. “That wasn’t a fight! Yeah, I pissed you off, but nobody screamed. Besides, we made up.”

“See, that’s what I thought!” Dan suddenly looked quite aggrieved. “But then you were mad at me when I got to work—“

“Only because you were a macho shit towards Christine,” she interrupted. “That had nothing to do with us.”

“I thought that too, but then you wanted to talk and all guys know that— that…” Dan was the most mercurial person Roz had ever met, and he could run through emotions faster than Sibyl, but this display was remarkable even for him. In less than three minutes, he had gone from sullen to happy to disgruntled to… lost. He looked lost, and Roz remembered that no matter how much experience he had with women, he was completely adrift when it came to committed relationships. He had absolutely no idea what he was doing. Maybe it was only because she’d had babies on the brain all day, but Roz felt overwhelmed with an almost maternal fondness. She walked over to hug him—not like a lover, but like a friend—and he clung to her like his life depended upon it.

After a moment, he let out a deep breath and released her. His face was bland and gave no hint of the emotional rollercoaster she’d just witnessed. “So. What did you want to talk about and what do my parents have to do with it?”

Suddenly, all of Roz’s certainty was gone. She did want a baby, but if Dan could lose it so completely over a minor disagreement, was he really cut out to be a father? This might be the worst idea she’d ever had. “Nothing. Forget it. Wasn’t important.”

He narrowed his eyes and reached for her face, gently but firmly forcing her to look at him. “It wasn’t nothing. What was it?”

She closed her eyes and sighed, but when she opened them again, Dan was still staring at her intently. Almost against her will, she answered him. “All this baby stuff with Christine has me thinking about the fact that my clock is ticking. I wanted to ask you if you’d mind if I threw my diaphragm away, but first I needed to be certain that your parents wouldn’t hate their only grandchild. But listen, I’m not asking anything from you that you don’t want to give, just your…” She trailed off, unable to be as clinical with Dan as she’d been with Mac earlier, but also unwilling to make a joke out of it by using a slang term for his sperm. If he agreed, one of those suckers might wind up being half of a miracle.

Dan’s eyes opened wide in astonishment and Roz felt her face flaming in shame. “You know what, Fielding? Forget it. It was a stupid idea.” She started to leave, but he grabbed her by both arms. “Let go of me, Dan,” she warned him.

“Not on your life.” He smiled warmly at her. “You’re asking me to father your child? I’m not letting this moment get away from me for anything on earth.” He brushed his lips against hers gently. “If you offered me a million dollars, a job at the most prestigious law firm in the city, or the chance to create life with you, I know what I’d choose and it wouldn’t be close.”

“The money. You’d choose the money.”

Dan grinned but ignored the bait. “Think about it, Roz! Think how amazing this kid could be! My height, your muscles; my hair, your cheekbones; my book brains, your common sense. It would be criminal to deprive the world of somebody like that! I’d have to prosecute us both if we didn’t do this.”

A blinding smile broke out over Roz’s face. But she wasn’t ready to celebrate quite yet. “I don’t want you think I’m looking to get married or to make you change diapers or anything like that. I can do this on my own. I mean, yeah, a little money will probably help when it’s time for college, but I won’t need much from you.”

He stroked her cheek. “Listen, Roz. You’ve been my friend for a lot longer than you’ve been my girlfriend, and I wouldn’t let any friend of mine go through this alone. It’s too huge. I’d do anything I could to help any child of yours for no reason other than because it was yours. You know that, right?” Roz thought about the scene with Christine earlier and she nodded. She did know that. “But if it was mine as well as yours? There’s nothing you could ask that I wouldn’t **want** to do. I’ll **want** to be part of this kid’s life, as much as you’ll let me.” 

Well, she had her answer; there was only one thing left to do. Roz pulled her diaphragm out of the pocket of her jacket and went over to the trash can by Dan’s desk and dropped it in. In response, he pulled out his wallet and took out the three condoms he always kept in there. He caught her eyes and walked over to do the same without once losing eye contact. There was a challenge in his gaze, similar to the look he’d give her when he suggested a new kink or sexual game that she’d never tried before. He’d never looked at her like that when she wasn’t already crawling out of her skin with desire, but it turned out that dares were turn-ons all by themselves and she found herself wanting him desperately. After he let go of the condoms, she grabbed his shirt and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. He broke away more quickly than he normally did and squeaked nervously, “What are you doing?”

She brushed her fingers lightly over his trousers. “Pretty sure you know, Fielding.”

“But, but, but, this is my **office**!” She sat on the desk so that she could reach his neck which she proceeded to pepper with butterfly-light kisses. “I don’t have sex in my office. It’s the only scruple I have left.” She started to unbutton his shirt and scraped her fingernails across the exposed skin of his chest. “Ah, to hell with it! It’s stupid to only have one scruple anyway.”

As Dan pushed Roz down onto the desk, it occurred to her that there was nothing else she wanted from her life at that particular moment.


End file.
